EVALU(wait) BEFORE YOU SPEAK !

The social media  sorely tempt  many people whose tendency is  to let their emotions  fly off the handle without  properly evaluating  the consequences of  their  angry words. 

I see this sort of behaviour frequently on  the social media in general,  and I  dare say that  it has unhelpfully contributed  to the current  racial tensions, world wide, in the wake of the  murder (what else can we call it?)  of  George Floyd  in the USA. 

In the Bible, the book of James helpfully  warns  us concerning the  huge damage our tongues can cause... 

"How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue  is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell..." (James 3:5-6).

The book of Proverbs likewise has a lot of instruction and warning on the use of the tongue. We do well to rehearse the truths  contained in this book of wisdom. Here are a few samples...

• Proverbs 10:11  The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth  of the wicked conceals violence.
• Proverbs 10:18,19  The one who conceals hatred has lying lips and whoever utters slander is a fool. When words are many, transgression is not  lacking, but whoever  restrains  his lips is prudent.
• Proverbs 11:12  Whoever belittles his neighbour lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
• Proverbs 12:19 Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment
• Proverbs 18:8 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down to the inner parts of the body.
• Proverbs 18:13  If one gives an answer before he hears,  it is his folly and shame.

I came across this  helpful article  by  Alan Jacobs [1]. These  are  some helpful  rules to  govern our tongue,  helping us  to  think before  we speak or act. 

May it help me and you to be careful with our words. 

• I don’t have to say something just because everyone around me is.
• I don’t have to speak about things I know little or nothing about.
• I don’t have to speak about issues that will be totally forgotten in a few  weeks or months by the people who at this moment are most strenuously    demanding a response.
• I don’t have to spend my time in environments that press me to speak without knowledge.
• If I can bring to an issue heat, but no light, it is probably best that I remain silent. Private communication can be more valuable than public.

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[1]   https://www.theamericanconservative.com/jacobs/im-thinking-it-over/

How Shall We Best Communicate In This Social Media Driven Age?

In reading through the second and third letters of John, I  was struck  by  his  closing statements:

2 John v.12:  Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete.

3 John v. 13:  I had much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink. 14 I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face.

The apostle John clearly preferred ‘face to face’ talk to letter writing. I, along with many others appreciate the apostle’s sentiment. 
Why?  
I offer the following explanation.

·       Face to face communication involves the whole person. In face to face communication we engage verbally (by use of words) and non- verbally (by means of body language). Our body language (facial gestures, posture etc.) contributes much to the process of communication.  The problem with letters, emails and other electronic messaging and even the cell phone or the telephone is that we just do not have a living person immediately before us. We cannot look into their eyes and see the emotions reflected there.  

·       Face to face communication allows for immediate questioning and clarification. There is no time delay. No anxious waiting for a response. Potential misunderstandings are quickly dealt with. Misconceptions are mostly cleared up   immediately.

Communication can be a challenge at the best of times. I can only imagine that John the apostle must have had his hands full with people whose hearts and minds were filled with emotional overload, anxiety, bitterness, hurt, anger and such things. Writing a letter to them, or rebuking them by way of a letter would be subject to further complications.   Such people easily would allow their hearts and minds to read between the lines of a letter, and into the letter, coming perhaps to wrong conclusions about the writer’s intent, resenting the well- meaning intentions of the writer.

Although a written note is not unhelpful at times, a face to face conversation, together with the human touch is infinitely better. In the Christian ministry we find ourselves, more often than not, better off for having dealt with a conflict or crisis or a complicated matter by seeing people face to face.